My Review of the Movie 'Flashin'

Cast : Preanchor Choppedup, Muggedup Godsend, ErBraaz, Conkedgana Runout, Kitchykoo Giddy-n-whiny, Crass Bubbler, et al (who the heck is Al?!)

Note: This movie is for adolts only and parental guidance is necessary… yes… anyone over 12 years of age will have to give guidance to their parentals thru’ this one.

Starry… er… story : Now here’s a movie that brings out the glam, glitz and bling of the murky world of flashin’. Where the people who matter walk with a swagger in their hips, pouts on their lips, mascara on their lids and rouge on their cheeks… and I’m referring to the male designers here!

Are all flashin’ designers g*y?! Going by the story in this movie, EVERYONE who is not a female is g*y!

So here we have small-town-girl-wanting-to-make-it-big, Megnut Maarthook (played like a role model with a model role by Preanchor) who wants to escape small town Chandigrrr, and her mummy-daddy (played with huge cheeks by Keerunt Droopingjaw, and with huge brown wig by Crass Bubbler) add to the confusion cos mummy is supportive but daddy is a crud.

Anyway, ambitious Megnut lands up in big bad Mumbai and winds up meeting perthpiring… er… athpiring dethigner Rohit No-Baal (played baldly with thekthy lithphth by Athwin Muthran… why doeth thith guy lithph tho muth?!) who takes an immediate liking to Megnut and wants to help her make it in the big bad world of flashin’. So he introduces her to that little hockey player from Chak De, that feisty little thing, remember her, and here she is playing yet another feisty little model coordinator, trying to get many aspiring models to act properly, speechify properly, I only wish that she had tried to get the scipt-writer to scriptify properly!

At this puncture… er… juncture…, enter super-model and show-stopper Stonedali who’s versatile vocabulary consists mainly of the following words screeched out, cos this is one model who strongly believes in the freedom of screech, “Yu are a b***ard!”

So most dialogues with her go something like this…and remember to screech this out for her:
Model coordinator : “Hi Stonedali, good morning, nice day innit?”
Stonedali : “Yu are a b***ard!”
Fellow, or Fellee, model : “Hi Stonedali, yu were great on the ramp this evening!”
Stonedali : “Yu are a b***ard!”
Cruel, vicious boyfriend ; “ Hey Stonedali, (and yu aint gonna believe THIS!!) please drink this finger-bowl lime water in which I have just washed my hands, to prove that yu love me!”
Stonedali : “Yu are a b***ard!”
Abhicreep, played with a grin by ErBraaz in the first half of the movie, and a scowl in the second half : “ Hi Stonedali, yu are no longer the brand ambassador for my product, Pancake”
Stonedali : “Yu are a b***ard!”
Glitterfatty : “Hi Stonedali, are yr parents married?!”
Stonedali : “I am a b***ard?!”

But alas and alack, this show-stopper finally stops her own show by overdosing on heroin, or was it botox, and we in the audience can feel ourselves overdosing on heroines!

And then we get to meet another designer, Rohit BahutBaal (this g*y… er guy was not bald) and another g*y guy called Rahtool Adoda (aren’t all designers called Rohit?!) who is a big shot designer and by now we are thoroughly confused about who is a designer, who is a g*y designer, who is a guy designer and what designs did the director Madhoot Bhandarbhar have on us when he designed this movie!

And of course yu get to meet Rahtool’s mummy, and that poor lady is just dying for her son to get married but wot to do, Rahtool is still trapped in his closet… so one day he meets another femme model, Janitor, and proposes to her… and she accepts his marriage proposal even tho she knows that Rahtool and his bf will live haplessly ever after… so thoughtful na?

So, was this movie any different from the other movies being churned out by the bollywood assembly-line… well, yaah and naah…

Yaah…, cos it had a few scene stealers, what with all the wardrobe malfunctions, garment malfunctions, closet malfunctions (which was the reason that poor Rahtool could not walk out of his closet), Preanchor and Conkedgana were quite adept while walking the ramp, yu got to see some known names in the current real-life world of Mumbai flashin’, there were no flash-backs, a fair amount of flash-fronts, and thankfully, NO SONGS… can yu believe that!?

Naah…, cos there was the usual dose of histrionics, screeches, lapses in script, inane fillers, a flimsy and weak romantic interlude, a messy affair, and a fair amount of cellulite (watch Kitchykoo Giddy-n-whiny in a mini... why?!?!)

But, all in all, the ups and downs in Megnut’s modeling career graph are scripted fairly craftily, and the movie ends with a very very successful Megnut becoming an international super-model… yu will never guess where… in G*Y Paree!

Rating : Someone please gimme a 5 star for watching and reviewing this movie!

Ok…Ok… before yu guys ask me how the movie really was, let me tell yu that the movie is going to do fairly well, so if yu are adolts (over the physical age of 18 and mental age of 12) and your parentals need guidance, go for it... enjoy it... with g*y abandon!