Movie Name : Baaah-one
Cast : Abhidekh Bachpana, Yikeswarrior Crai, Weakdumb, Duhvinda, et al (wdh is Al??!!)
Director : Money Rottenh’m
Music and Lyrics : A.R. Rehenedoman, Gulsore
Script and dialogue-writer : Absent
Story : OK, now calling this a story is like adding insult to injury… as it is, this is one more moowhee which insults your intelligence so badly that your head will be reeling from start to finish! And to think that my readers have an average IQ of approx 27, I found that the moowhee had not even risen to that level!
So, what’s the story? I was told that it was inspired by the epic Ramayana! The only resemblance the moowhee had with the epic was that it kept going on and on till one felt that banwaas cannot be equated with bakwaas…
But, hey… let’s be fair to the players in this epic, er… pic… poor Abhidhek was a total misfit in the role of a tribal outlaw… Yikeswarrior was a scream throughout… Weakdumb’s role was just that… weak ‘n dumb… and Duhvinda made a total monkey out of himself by trying to ape Lord Hanuman… tsk, tsk, Rottenh’m… yeh kya kiya?
Action, anyone… yes, there was some action, most of it picturised so amateurishly, and just so that yu realized there was something exciting supposed to be happening on screen, Rehenedoman’s orchestra would suddenly start beating the bass drums, and blowing trumpets and trombones with such gusto that yu were left looking for action and excitement, and all yu got was Rehenedoman’s orchestra beating the bass drums, and blowing trumpets and trombones with such gusto!
Edge-of-the-seat moments…? Yes, yes, I had about seven of them… yes… seven times I found myself at the edge of the seat with such excitement… mainly because each time I thought the moowhee was about to end, but then, life should be so easy…..
Dialogues, anyone? Hanh… yes… dialogues (and you have to be warned… the following dialogues are being SCREAMED and HISSED by the protagonists so remember to SCREAM and HISS them) :
Like this one between Abhidekh and Yikeswarrior :
Abhidekh : AAAAARghhhh!
Yikeswarrior : EEEEEeeegh!
Or this one between Weakdumb and Abhidekh :
Weakdumb : BEEEEERA!
Abhidhek : CHIK, CHIK, CHIK, CHIK!
And this one between Abhi and Yikes :
Abhi : CHIK, CHIK, CHIK, CHIK!
Yikes : Kya bolta hai CHIK, CHIK, CHIK, CHIK! You mean hot CHIK, hot CHIK, hot CHIK, hot CHIK!
Or this total pearl of a dialogue between Yikes and a cop who has been buried neck-deep in rock and mud and slime for so long that he is obviously brain dead (or maybe he was brain dead because they made him watch the preview of this moowhee) :
Yikes to the brain dead cop : EEEEeeeaaaagh! Yeh kya hua? Tum theek tho ho?
Brain dead cop to Yikes : Say, what??!!
So now, you might wanna know… was there NOTHING in the pic worth writing home about… huh… nothing… no, no, no, even tho’ I would love to say that there was really nothing, I have to admit that the photography was superlative in parts, truly brilliant. But if you want to watch this one, don’t say you haven’t been warned.
Rating : Epic fail
Cast : Abhidekh Bachpana, Yikeswarrior Crai, Weakdumb, Duhvinda, et al (wdh is Al??!!)
Director : Money Rottenh’m
Music and Lyrics : A.R. Rehenedoman, Gulsore
Script and dialogue-writer : Absent
Story : OK, now calling this a story is like adding insult to injury… as it is, this is one more moowhee which insults your intelligence so badly that your head will be reeling from start to finish! And to think that my readers have an average IQ of approx 27, I found that the moowhee had not even risen to that level!
So, what’s the story? I was told that it was inspired by the epic Ramayana! The only resemblance the moowhee had with the epic was that it kept going on and on till one felt that banwaas cannot be equated with bakwaas…
But, hey… let’s be fair to the players in this epic, er… pic… poor Abhidhek was a total misfit in the role of a tribal outlaw… Yikeswarrior was a scream throughout… Weakdumb’s role was just that… weak ‘n dumb… and Duhvinda made a total monkey out of himself by trying to ape Lord Hanuman… tsk, tsk, Rottenh’m… yeh kya kiya?
Action, anyone… yes, there was some action, most of it picturised so amateurishly, and just so that yu realized there was something exciting supposed to be happening on screen, Rehenedoman’s orchestra would suddenly start beating the bass drums, and blowing trumpets and trombones with such gusto that yu were left looking for action and excitement, and all yu got was Rehenedoman’s orchestra beating the bass drums, and blowing trumpets and trombones with such gusto!
Edge-of-the-seat moments…? Yes, yes, I had about seven of them… yes… seven times I found myself at the edge of the seat with such excitement… mainly because each time I thought the moowhee was about to end, but then, life should be so easy…..
Dialogues, anyone? Hanh… yes… dialogues (and you have to be warned… the following dialogues are being SCREAMED and HISSED by the protagonists so remember to SCREAM and HISS them) :
Like this one between Abhidekh and Yikeswarrior :
Abhidekh : AAAAARghhhh!
Yikeswarrior : EEEEEeeegh!
Or this one between Weakdumb and Abhidekh :
Weakdumb : BEEEEERA!
Abhidhek : CHIK, CHIK, CHIK, CHIK!
And this one between Abhi and Yikes :
Abhi : CHIK, CHIK, CHIK, CHIK!
Yikes : Kya bolta hai CHIK, CHIK, CHIK, CHIK! You mean hot CHIK, hot CHIK, hot CHIK, hot CHIK!
Or this total pearl of a dialogue between Yikes and a cop who has been buried neck-deep in rock and mud and slime for so long that he is obviously brain dead (or maybe he was brain dead because they made him watch the preview of this moowhee) :
Yikes to the brain dead cop : EEEEeeeaaaagh! Yeh kya hua? Tum theek tho ho?
Brain dead cop to Yikes : Say, what??!!
So now, you might wanna know… was there NOTHING in the pic worth writing home about… huh… nothing… no, no, no, even tho’ I would love to say that there was really nothing, I have to admit that the photography was superlative in parts, truly brilliant. But if you want to watch this one, don’t say you haven’t been warned.
Rating : Epic fail
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